This is something new for me.  No, really.

The adorable and obscenely gifted *SkyBlueTatoo tagged me in a "Tell us ten things about you that nobody knows" thing, and so, i am compelled to comply.  Because, well, you know ... if you're tagged, it's an unwritten law that you must do as instructed!  Yes, really.

So, ten things you don't know about me.  Unless you are one of three people who have known me longer than my name has been TheSnowInMyHand ...

1.  I hate scars.  Not on other people, but on me.  To me, they just remind me how clumsy i was to get them.  That includes the ones given to me by other people - i feel the (logically ridiculous) guilt arising from not having avoided getting them.  Each one feels like a failure.

2.  My name is the title of a song by My Dying Bride.  Not my real name - that one's Irish - but my handle, here on dA.  It was my second choice, because my first was taken.  Other options were: TheFeverSea, SheIsTheDark, and GraceUnhearing.  I tend towards the dark of things.

3.  My eyes are two slightly different shades of grey.  One is more blue, the other is more hazel.  They also change colour a little - sometimes quite blue, and rarely, emerald green.  But usually grey.  It tends to be mood-related ... more blue when i'm happy, green when i'm angry, and usually just grey because most of the time i resist feeling anything at all.  Which leads me to the next point ...

4.  I tend to feel nothing, most of the time.  I love to feel things, and when i do, i feel so very, very deeply, that it exhausts me.  In my teens i totally forgot how to feel anything.  It was the worst thing.  Ever.  Worse than loved ones passing away, worse than being heartbroken, worse than dieing.  Because i couldn't love.

5.  I tend to dream of love, and never fall.  "A clown will dream of love and never fall.  A fool will fall in love and lose it all.  A fool will chase a shadow that he sees, all over town, but he'll never find the love that is dreamt of by a clown."

6.  Black is my colour of choice for clothing.  My entire wardrobe is black, barring a couple of pieces necessary for certain situations.  I'm not a goth, or anything resembling emo, but i do not feel comfortable in anything that isn't black.  My mother thinks it's a phase i'm going through.  Since i was ten.

7.  Being the centre of attention is a nightmare to me.  I am confident, and can talk in front of a crowd, but in social situations i like to be mostly unnoticed.  I've become rather adept at vanishing in crowded rooms, and tend to do so if some stranger makes too much eye contact.  Consequently, i don't tend to meet many new people at social functions.  Where necessary, i just hide behind my camera so that people can't strike up one-on-one conversations.

8.  I have a psych major (B. Psych, actually).  And an English major.  And a journalism major.  And a comp sci major.  And i've never really used any of it.  I tend towards holding such qualifications in contempt, so rarely even admit to having one of them, let alone all.

9.  I'm an empath.  I pick up on people's emotions even when they're hiding them to the very best of their abilities.  That's another reason why i tend to avoid people - i actually feel, myself, what they are feeling.  It can be really depressing.  I tend to over-compensate by being really cold towards (most) people.

10. When i was eight years old, my I.Q. was measured to be 185.  I don't feel super-intelligent or any such thing, but i do tend to run into a lot of stupid people.  I don't connect to many people intellectually, but neither do i spend my free time studying quantum physics or devloping new scientific theory.  When i run into an intelligent person, i typically nod and smile and pretend to not understand, and tell them that they're really smart.  I just don't want to be noticed like that.  I would rather be thought of as beautiful, or kind, or just as a lovely person.  And i hate when people tell me i should be doing more with my life, just because i am capable of complex thought.  I love what i do, and just want to be known for being good at that.


I could never tell someone all of this outside of here.  The anonymity is so freeing.

So, who to tag?  Feel free to tag yourself, of course.  I don't like the idea of making anyone feel obligated or compelled to do this thing, but i would love to see what people have to say.  So, if you read this, consider yourself tagged (and please tell me!), and if you don't want to do it, just pretend you didn't read it.   Or just comment anyway.

If your name is here, it just means i'm i'm not too scared to mention that i'd like to see your answers.

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