No, really.

I'm employed full-time as a photog. I have my own business, as a photog. I get contracts that serve to bring me more business than i think i can handle. I've spent over $25k on photo gear alone this year (and would spend that again if i could afford it). I'm essentially working two full-time jobs, and am able to buy all the gear i've dreamt of owning, and i'm building a name for myself that's allowing me to put my prices up for the fourth time this year, and i'm still getting busier.

Everything's so good.

And still, i'm left with even less time to write. Let alone all those other things. Like love.

Who needs love anyway, right?

Oh yeah - me.

No time. No time.

Do i give up my $65k job and just work for myself? Tempting. Also, frightening.

"But you don't get scared, Kae."

Yeah, well. Maybe if i hadn't started shooting weddings on top of my already insane schedule. But they're so addictively fun! You get those perfect shots and people forget to breathe when they see them. And then you get those shots you hate, but you throw them in anyway, and people start crying. Because they love them! Weddings are great.

So are kids. You know, not mine, because ... well, no. But shooting them. Every half-decent shot sells, because it's all about emotion. And every shot is at least half-decent, because kids are so damn cute. I think i want one. Maybe not. I'll get back to you on that.

Never trust a skinny cook. Does that also mean, never trust an ugly photog? Something i've been pondering ever since someone mentioned it to me recently. Maybe it wasn't to me personally, i forget. Maybe it was those crazy people over at Totally Rad Actions. Yeah, it probably was. They're my kind of insane. I'll just hide in my boy clothes. No-one will notice. I just look like a skinny boy anyway. With long hair. And a girly voice. I think i hate my voice. I sound like i'm 14.

But i want to write. Like i'm 14 again. And love. Like i'm 18 again. In a few years i'll be 30, and then it's all over, red rover. I'll be throwing cats at people, and sounding like i'm 14. Frak it.

Why can't people pay me to write, instead? Oh yeah. I'm a photog. So easy to forget these things. Lucky i love taking photos.

K